Grandma's Boy (2006)

The new stoner movie with granny

Alex is a 35-year-old video game tester who was just forced to move in with his granma, and spends his time sleeping at work, where he is surrounded by many geeks and one hot female boss, performing household chores for his granny, and smoking his ass off with his stoner friends.

Alex (Allen Covert) is a stoner and a video-game tester who works in a firm with virgin, geeky co-workers, a weird, robot-like self-proclaimed genius video game inventor, and a hot female boss. After being forced to move in with his granma, he has to cope with the chores she imposes on him, while designing his own video game and toking with his drug dealer friend, Dante, and Dante's buddy the African Dr. Shockla, who grow exotic animals together and teach them martial arts.During the movie, Alex constantly falls asleep at work, hits on his boss, has his bong turned into a vase, gets beat up by a taekwando chimpanzee, plays a lot of video games and smokes a shitload of weed!

Quotes

Alex: Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could crash here for a while.
Dante: Whoa, I don't know, man. I got a business to run. This is like my office as well as my home. Plus, the lion comes in a couple days.
Alex: You're getting a lion?
Dante: Yeah.
Alex: Why?
Dante: To protect my shit.
Alex: Never heard of a dog?
Dante: Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody fucks with a lion.
Alex: Yeah, that's true.

Grandma Lilly: I hate violence, but drugs ARE bad.

Alex: [while stoned] Drive, monkey, drive!

Alex: My Grandma drank all my pot.

J.P.: [in robot voice] sit on my face [robot noises]

Jeff: I can't believe you came on my mom!

Alex: Don't Lions eat Deer?
Dante: Woah, Your right. Dr. Shakalu we need to be careful with that shit.

J.P.: All I've ever cared about was video games and they made me a millionaire. So maybe I don't know what the Civil War was, or who invented the helicopter even though I own one, but I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk. I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it.

Jeff: [imitating J.P] I have a robot vagina!

Grace: I once gave Charlie Chaplin a handjob.
Jeff: Wow, was he silent?
Grace: Not after I got thru with him

Dante: I'll smoke it with ya bro, we'll go to the loony bin together. I don't give a fuck.

Alex: [hangs up the phone] Dude... you have to give me a ride.
Dante: [after smoking] I'm way too baked to drive to the devil's house.

Jeff: Grace... I have something to confess.
Grace: What's that?
Jeff: [pauses] You were my first.
Grace: Really? Oh, that's sweet. You were my...
[thinks hard]
Grace: 3,000-something.
Jeff: [Raises hand to give a high five] Word up.

Josh: She's a massage therapist!
Mover #1: Yeah, she'll massage your cock for a price. She's a fucking hoocker!
Josh: YOU'RE a hooker!

Dante: [Answering the phone stoned] Hello?
Jeff: Dante is Alex there?
Dante: Who is this? Is this the devil?

Alex: Dude, your bed is a car...
Jeff: Yeah, but it's a fucking sweet car.

Dante: Looking back, the lion was a bad idea. That's why Dr. Shockla is gonna hook us up with a monkey. I'm gonna teach it taekwondo.
Barry: Yeah, karate monkey, yeah, that's probably safer.

Jeff: This chick's pussy smelled like the great depression.

Dante: That is pure fucking insanity.
Alex: Yeah, I know. He got addicted to hookers.
Dante: No, I'm talking about the guy who threw your bong. You should never throw a bong, kid. Ever.

Shiloh: You guys think you're so fucking cool, it makes me sick! "Let's go make fun of the vegans and their crazy lifestyle!" We're not hurting anyone! Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick!

Dante: Dude, were you do you buy your pot?
Mr. Cheezle: From you, Dante.
Dante: Oh... THAT'S RIGHT! Hey, Mr. Cheezle!

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